Tuesday, 12 July 2011

10: Bedlam in the Bigtop

There will be a post, some time in the future, concerning a particularly wonderful time I had the other night that was full of Scooby Doo mayhem. But until I can get some photos you will have to wait.

We open with the single best image so far. A strong-man and a dwarf are riding a tandem bike. That's... just so magical.
Where are they going? Shopping?
Mysteriously their bike breaks cleanly in half and each member of the magical duo is left peddling by themselves. Somehow they manage to crash into each other and end up sprawled on the floor. The gang then arrive at the scene and the Strong-Man is just as unhappy as the rest of us.
The dwarf gets stuck in the tree, which, really, was only to be expected. Scooby comes to the rescue and catches him when he falls. The dwarf then introduces himself as: Max the Midget, and introduces the Strong-Man as Samson the Strong-Man. Fred inquires as to the nature of their accident and the Dwarf becomes furious, screaming: "It's not an accident!"
"Also 9-11 was fake!"
I just have to say that I am loving the dwarf in this. He is so wonderful. I want Max the Midget, the Caretaker from Foul-Play in Funland, and the Hotel Owner from Mine Your Own Business to get together and make their own show. A man can dream. Max the Midget then tells the gang that there is a jynx at the circus and that they should leave. Fred, being a harbinger of madness, decides the gang should check it out. We then get a shot of the villain, Murder the Clown (citation needed).
You will never sleep again!
The gang arrive at the circus, and the ringleader tells the gang that without Max and Samson they will have to close down the circus. I guess everyone was only going for the Strong-Man and the Dwarf's irreplaceable friendship. He then tells the gang that there is the ghost of a clown hanging around.
Look at Fred: "Ghost-Clown? Fuck Yes!"
Scooby is distracted away and the gang leave, just forgetting that they own a huge semi-sentient great dane. Turns out Scooby was stolen by the clown and is currently being hypnotized.
The clown hypnotizes Scooby into being brave, and forcing him to do the high wire act. Whilst looking for Scooby Velma and Shaggy come across exactly this. For some reason Velma wants to stop him, perhaps she just furiously hates high-wire acts. They decide to pull a trampoline under them using Shaggy's monstrously stretched arms.
Is Shaggy human? Are any of them?
Just then the Ghost-Clown says: "The power of the Ghost-Clown in great, it's time for that silly dog to wake. You will never work in this circus." Great and Wake don't rhyme you shitty ass clown. Whatever, Scooby Doo Where are You? I don't need your shit. There's some un-hilairous circus hi-jynx (ha, Jynx pun) and Scooby end up attached to balloons.
I just don't have time for this.
The Ghost-Clown shoots darts at Scooby, and Shaggy, in his attempts to save Scooby, ends up breaking Space and Time.
Just... What?
Scooby falls but is caught by Shaggy and Velma. Unfortunately the trampoline they were going to catch him in breaks and Scooby becomes permanently disfigured.
"Raggy rhyyy?"
We then cut to Freddy and Daphne searching the circus grounds. They follow the Ghost-Clown into a costume tent, and Freddy declares that he: "better check this giant steamer trunk." Why Fred? The Ghost-Clown isn't in there. You're just looking through clothes? The Hell? Anyway his foolhardiness gets him locked in there, and Daphne gets hypnotized by the clown.
So very frightening.
Shaggy, Scoob, and Velma begin searching the Circus again, and come across Daphne riding a unicycle. Shaggy remarks that she can't even ride a Bi-Cycle. Which is pretty sad.
Probably illiterate too.
They decide they have to wake her up, which ends so terribly.
Deal with it society.
There's this really surreal scene where Daphne passes by these three Elephants who watch her with a silent judging gaze. This whole episode is surreal.
All the Elephants are watching. Always watching.
Scooby's plan to save Daphne involves talking to Elephants which apparently means he can talk Elephant too. Whatever, they save Daphne and go looking for Fred.They find him in his coveted: 'Giant Steamer Trunk' and he devises a plan. It's a bad plan, as all Fred plans invariably are. Scooby is used as bait and is bribed into doing so with a sandwich. Apparently it's such an amazing sandwich is drives Shaggy into a fit of furious mad extasy.
Please no. Please god no. I just... I can't deal with this.
In the middle of realizing their plan, Shaggy is hypnotized into doing the lion tamers act. This pretty much involves a full minute of Shaggy whipping a lion. It's awful. After the detour they bring the Ghost-Clown back to the trap but it fails because it wasn't the Ghost-Clown it was a balloon. Yup. Shaggy then comes up with a really really really (and I cannot stress this enough) really stupid plan. Basically they hold up mirrors when the Ghost-Clown tries to hypnotize them, demonstrating a serious lack of understanding of both hypnotism and mirrors. Of course, sigh, it works, and the Ghost-Clown becomes convinced it's a chimp.
Turns out it was this guy called Harry the Hypnotist who stole from the Circus and was imprisoned some time before, who was seeking revenge by... I don't know really, cutting bikes in half? Making people really good at doing circus tricks? Fuck. The Circus reopens and everyone is happy. Except me.

Goodnight everybody!

Jackson Bee.

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