06: What the Hex is Going On?

Lets jump right in shall we?

We open on a spooky wooden mansion, a haunting groan emanates from within. We then pan around to see a crypt, a bat appears, and then out of no where comes a man in a brown suit walking like a zombie.

He has a little Harry Potter scar on his forehead.

We stay on the man for far too long, before we cut to the Mystery Inc. gang.  Apparently someone called Sharon has asked them up to the Weatherby Estate... Who are these kids? Was the person with the estate like: Oh you delightfully inept teenagers! You must come and stay at my estate! You will entertain the guests! The gang spy the brown suited gentleman from earlier, but think literally nothing of it. Oh they point it out alright, but then they just keep driving.

We then cut to the gang in the Weatherby Estate and I realize how absolutely HUGE Fred's collar is.

Like wings they are.

Susan and her pipe smoking papa tell the gang that there have been some strange noises lately, and that their Uncle went missing recently. Evidently they aren't too worried or don't care too much as they haven't done anything about it. Anyway the gang tells them they saw a man in a brown suit near an abandoned mansion, and they all go over to check it out.

They find this.

That's actually a really good piece of animation.

Apparently that's their Uncle, only aged several years until he is an Old Man. He tells a stupid story about how he was lured into the mansion by Blue Frankenstein here.

Love this guy. He's so sad looking.

Who sort of seems pretty pathetic for a ghost (he's the ghost of the original Weatherby or something) but then he does this:

Man is a fucking wizard!

Look at that! Look at his coat! It's totally stopped making sense! Hooray! So yeah, the Uncle gets really old and the ghost threatens the same fate unless he gets the Weatherby Family fortune. So he can spend it on, I don't know, ghost pants.

The pipe smoking papa decides to call the sheriff, the phone unfortunately is out of action, so he decides to go and get him personally. Fred lets him know that they will keep watch, and that they'll take it in turns so that nothing goes wrong. he says this with a look of hate on his face, like if someone falls asleep on the job he's going to beat them within an inch of their life.

"If you guys fuck up so help me God!"

Scooby takes first watch and falls asleep pretty quickly, the moaning voice entrances the old man once again, he disappears and Scooby calls the gang in. Sharon has gone missing as well, and this, apparently, is the final straw. They all head over to the old mansion.

There's some stupid joke about Shaggy wearing roller skates, and Fred's face deforms again. Fred's face is always deforming.

He looks like a grasshopper wearing a mans skin.

Whilst wondering this happens:

Haha what?

Haha!

There's some further hijinks and Scooby has a run in with a bulldog. Apparently this is a clue, as Ghosts don't have dogs. Why does anyone listen to Velma? The gang then finds the skeleton of Uncle, which is pretty morbid. They don't really care though, no one is disturbed by death in this show. It's always just another clue.

Well golly gee!

They are frightened by the ghost again, who is pretty unimpressed by the whole thing. He's also pretty obviously not a ghost. He never floats, he's not transparent, and whenever he leaves the room he just walks. He just walks away. He's just a man.

So... uh, bye.

They watch the ghost walk into the crypt from earlier, for some reason they then dust for fingerprints. I... I can't even begin... Like, they have no way or matching fingerprints, at all, learning that there's finger prints on the doorknob prove absolutely nothing. For god's sake.

Shaggy goes in the crypt for some Scooby Snacks. I only bring this up because he then looks at the camera and says: I'd do anything for a Scooby Snack. He says it like a junkie, like a man admitting he has performed sexual favors for crack. Totally threw me, did not expect such a somber moment.

Ashes to ashes, funk to funky...

Inside the crypt they find a book of Crystolomacy, something which is not even a real fake thing. They get locked in but escape through a secret passageway and head into town to the Swami's Place. This whole sequence is as stupid as it is superfluous, but it ends with the gang being attacked by a flying table, so I guess it's not all bad.

Grrrr!

Also at one point they duck and Velma becomes such a hipster.

We're called Mystery Inc. You've probably never heard of us.

They find a whole heap of stuff which apparently helps them solve the mystery, they set up a trap which results in the ghost bellowing at a toy clown:

Quote: I'll make you bones!

Turns out the ghost was uncle steward, which doesn't explain why he was walking like a zombie when no one was watching, but whatever. There's another hint at a prison sentence, which I guess makes sense because he kidnapped Sharon, and the episode ends.

Not as bad as some, I mean, the episode made a sort of sense, and the ghost looked pretty cool, but it's still an episode of Scooby Doo and Crystolomancy is still not a thing.

Goodnight

Jackson Bee