08: Foul Play in Funland

We open on a beach during the day, which is new, and pan to the gang searching for clams. This is something that turns up pretty often in episodes of 'What's New Scooby Doo?' I think clams might be the only thing keeping the gang from starving.

They're all so exited!

There's then a discussion about how much Scooby hates clams and how they send Shaggy into some kind of religious extacy.

Look at him, he loves clams so much it's making him orgasm hard.

Shaggy then goes on to talk about how much he wishes he was at the theme-park in the background, which, unfortunately, is currently closed. Daphne comments that maybe it's haunted, which just goes to show that she's become conditioned to her existence, wherever they go now Daphne just assumes there's a ghost. That's kind of sad really. Suddenly the lights go on, something Velma declares "impossible" which is kind of a big claim.

This, right here, cannot be.

Fred decides that breaking into a closed amusement park is the logical next course of action, and the gang decides to investigate. We then cut to a robot using a roller coaster, and he is loving it.

"Fuck yes!"

We get no explanation before we cut back to the Gang, who are now inside the park. They dick around for a while playing carnival games and eating carnival food. I'm pretty sure the ghost thing was just a ploy for them to break into an amusement park. Fred plays some baseball throwing game and wins a creepy little trophy.

Creepiest thing in the whole episode.

Shaggy and Scooby, whilst trying to steal cotton candy, run into the robot from earlier. It's running from stall to stall and Shaggy comments that it is "faster than a speeding bullet." Scooby then says, "Superman." under his breath like he has to clarify what Shaggy was saying. It's really weird. Shaggy then tells Scooby to pick up the scent, and, when this doesn't work out, terrifies himself by saying that maybe it's a ghost, because ghost's don't leave scents. Really, guys? It's pretty obviously a robot, like, unless a robot died, but why would you even assume that? Fuck you guys. Also this image:

What the christ?

The duo see the robot again and still don't pick up on the fact that it's a robot, Shaggy saying that it looks like "a man from mars!" which it doesn't. At all. The robot walks into the hall of mirrors and Shaggy and Scooby follow. They dick about with the mirrors until they find the robot, at which point they scream and run out again. Wait didn't they follow the robot in there? Whatever, they run away and hide in some bins.

Remember kids, robots hate disposing waste!

Cut to the rest of the gang as they see the robot get on the ferris wheel. Fuck you Mystery Inc. this robot just wants to have a good time at the fair and you have to come and fuck it up. The ferris wheel comes around and the robot is gone. Suddenly all the lights go off in the park. We cut randomly to various atractions as they shut down, they all have really creepy names:

What kind of a name is that for a rollercoaster?

Those faces are so frightening.

The gang meet up and Shaggy rants at them. Velma then points out a mansion and wonders who lives there. Apparently it's the caretaker. Apparently in the backwards world of Scooby Doo if you are a caretaker for a seaside carnival you get a mansion. Sometimes I just want to cut the breaks on the Mystery Machine and end this whole thing.

What does a security guard at the Whitehouse get? A blimp?

The caretaker is my favorite Scooby Doo supporting character ever. His face is constantly in a state of disgusted surprise. It's truly magnificent.

Best thing ever.

The caretaker doesn't give them any help, but Fred still wants to investigate. Shaggy is opposed, and Daphne laughs, "Shaggy, sometimes I think you would rather eat Pizza Pie than solve a mystery." Yes, I imagine he would. The lights go back on at the carnival, and Shaggy's becomes alarmingly bulbous.

hurdigurdihurdigurdi meatballs.

Everything is going haywire at the carnival, and the gang comes across the robot, who is juggling. The gang decide to stop him, and the robot runs into the tunnel of love. Fred demands says that they "have" to go in after them, they do but no one's happy about it. The robot smacks into their boat and everyone falls in the water, Daphne becomes absolutely furious as her hair is wet. That's pretty much the point of Daphne, how sad is that, this is the only instance of her doing something other than falling down.

Doesn't even look that bad, it's kind of cool.

The gang split up and Shaggy and Scooby dick around some more. Shaggy tries to use one of those 'Test Your Strength!' machines, but ends up nearly having a heart attack.

"AGH! Scooby! Call a doctor!"

The sign in the background seems to say, "Test Your Strength Win a Pie!" Awesome.

Or pork.

Then there's this whole big rollercoaster chase scene which isn't notable or funny, so excuse me for not describing it in excruciating detail. It ends with the robot diving from the top of the rollercoaster, into the big top. He is not a clever robot.

Stupidbot 2000

Fred decides to supe up a dodgem car, something he can apparently do, and use that to catch the robot. Things don't work out as planned though, because Shaggy turns it on and it carries Velma and Scooby away. Velma's glasses come off and she apparently goes insane, they're driving along at breakneck speeds and there's a train track ahead (in a carnival? Whatever) Scooby's like, "Train!" and Velma responds, "the train will have to look after itself!" Madness. Thankfully they crash into some cotton candy and everything is apparently ok.

Scooby is fucking huge.

Fred comes up with some retarded trap, once again using Scooby as bait. Predictably it fails, and the Robot escapes. It is then that the best person ever, the Caretaker from earlier, arrives and finally tells them that it's a robot. Apparently the caretaker made the robot with the intent of running the park for him, he wanted to make an army of them so he never had to work again. he never explains why he told them he didn't know what was going on though. I guess he was hoping the robot, named Charlie apparently, would kill them. They get in a jeep to catch the robot and Daphne gives Fred an impromptu blowjob.

Scooby is pleased, Shaggy accepts it with bhudda like calm.

They use a magnet to drag the robot, moonwalking, towards them.

Farting electricity out of the small of his back.

Someone breaks the magnet though! And the robot freaks out. The culprit turns out to be the Caretakers wife. Her reason being that, and I quote, "Robot's shouldn't work around children!" something Daphne agrees with and Scooby backs up. What a downright stupid ending to a stupid adventure. The caretaker resolves to fix the robot up and make Charlie the Second. A resolution that solves no ones problems.

I'd remembered this one from my childhood as being pretty funny, I'd also remembered it being pretty creepy. It was neither.

Goodnight everybody,

Jackson Bee.