Saturday, 2 July 2011

09: The Backstage Rage

I'm slightly disappointed at the moment. I thought I was reviewing Bedlam in the Big-top, which opens with a midget and a giant on a tandem bike. Alas I had miscounted and The Backstage Rage is what I get instead. Looks like you'll have to wait till the next update for that. Oh well, on with the show.

We open on Shaggy and Scoob walking somewhere with some Pizza. Why they didn't take the van is a mystery, I like to think that Fred didn't let them use the van and made them walk. Their woeful lack of willpower gets the better of them, and they decide to eat the Pizza right then and there. After a brief bout of shenanigans a car driven by a mysterious silhouette drives past and a violin case falls out the window. Now I don't know about you, but in my mind Violin Cases and shady individuals put me in mind of the mob, so hopefully Shaggy and Scooby get whacked for interfering.
Shady fucking business here.
Shaggy and Scoob pick it up and open it, lo and behold it's full of money. Shaggy gives the money to Scooby and phones the gang. The mysterious car from before pulls up next to Scooby where he's waiting, and an injured poodle appears in front of it. As stated before, Poodles are intrinsically sexy to dogs in the cartoon world, so Scooby can't help but wander over. Even if the Poodles seems pretty drunk.
Scooby you creep, scoping out the drunk chicks.
The mysterious man takes the violin case, which is now unguarded, and drives away, taking the poodle with him. The gang arrives, and, instead of yelling at Scooby and Shaggy for bringing them out in the middle of the night for nothing, they let Scooby mime what happened, and decide to investigate, even though it's pretty apparent that Scooby and Daphne stone cold don't give a fuck.
Stone Cold
Don't give a fuck.
The gang finds one of those marionette controller things, you know they're like in a cross shape, made of wood. Written on it are the words: Pietro's Puppets. Velma puts the clues together: Violins, Puppets, and new bills, and they unanimously decide that it is counterfeiters at work. Dunno how Puppets fit into that, but Fred is certainly infuriated.
Someone is going to get beat.
They decide to enter Scooby as a 'trained dog act' into some kind of talent show, because apparently that will help them solve the mystery. Whatever. At Pietro's Puppets a puppeteer is puppeting a puppet. Something that surprised no one but the gang. They ask to enter Scooby in the talent show, which is fine apparently, and marvel as the puppeteer puppets puppets. Scooby sees some marionettes moving by themselves and freaks out, leaping on Shaggy and gibbering. Shaggy bumps into a chest of drawers with a twenty dollar bill hanging out of it.
Just hanging out of the drawer for all to see.
Shaggy immediately grabs it and the gang decides to scarper. You know if the Mystery Inc. Gang is as poor as logic dictates they should be, what with their digging for clams and constant hunger, you'd have thought they'd just take the money. I guess they were all too scared of Fred.
AGHHHHHHHH!
Fred bets them all a donut that it's fake, which is awesome, but it turns out to be real, so I guess he owes them all a donut each. He probably wont though, knowing Fred. The gang decides that the bill was planted to make them think nothing suspicious was going on, something that doesn't make any sense because the puppeteer didn't know they were coming at all, but whatever, the gang can delude themselves all they like.
Kind of disturbed that he sleeps with his puppet.
They break into Pietro's Puppets whilst the puppeteer from before is asleep, which is just a criminal offense, and search the stages. There's some goofing around, Shaggy's beard grows skin again, and we get our first shot of the main villain:
So great.
He kind of looks like a furious potato, which, don't get me wrong, is awesome, and he's trying to actively kill Shaggy by dropping set pieces on him, so he might be the best villain ever. He's also trying to kill Velma and Daphne by dropping sandbags on them. This guy is awesome!
Die Velma Die!
The gang begin to catch on, which is disappointing, but only Velma seems worried so I'm not to fussed. There's a lot of shenanigans that aren't particularly noteworthy, and are just pretty much phoned in. There's a good five minutes only worth it for:
Knew it.
Shaggy doing an illuminati hand symbol (hand in between the buttons of his jacket)
Also footballer legs again.
and Velma developing lips for the second time in this seasons run. They then spot the villain on the stage and force Scooby to go after it. Scooby finds a room full of violin cases, but they all turn out to be empty. Which, lets be honest, is stranger than them being full of money. The gang are brought back to the stage by the villain playing the organ, he disappears and they are attacked by a viking and a pirate and then the poodle, which Scooby catches and picks up.
Kinky.
Turns out the poodle had the engraving plate for a twenty dollar bill in its stuffing. The gang decide to wake the doorman, but freak out, he's a puppet too. Which is kind of retarded, but hey, I didn't expect anything less. The gang sort of freaks out and goes back to the Violin Case room to give it another going over.
Violin cases have to be the worst thing to hide money in, seriously.
They find a harp case with a secret entrance to a room full of counterfeit bills. The masked man ambushes them and chases them back to the stage. He's then chased by Scooby Doo, and eventually caught in a drum.
Whack-a-man-who-looks-like-a-potato!
Turns out it was Pietro who was not a puppet, or he had a puppet of himself, which is fucking creepy. Scooby gets called a ham and the credits roll.

Fuck you Velma, he is not a ham!

Goodnight everybody

Jackson Bee

BONUS CREEPY PHOTO OF FRED:
He looks like a fucking human snake!

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